dorsetgirl

I saw a lot of people doing this, and I happened to be at Hambel's journal when I thought "Yeah, OK, I'll do it." So Hambel gave me "The Master, Ten, Gene Hunt."

So that's like, OK: Ten - Cliff, Master - Shag, Gene - Marry. Without a moment's thought.

Mmm, maybe to qualify as a meme I need to write more than that? Well, here we go, from the, er, bottom:

Cliff: Ten

Because who needs it? He really doesn't do a thing for me. I don't have anything against Tennant himself, not that I've ever seen him in anything else, but Ten - meh. I don't like the talky talky stuff, I don't like the artificial "soulful voice" he puts on when he wants to do "upset", I don't like the endless gurning. In fact it wasn't until Human Nature and Family of Blood that I became convinced the man could act. Clearly he would have to be able to, to get the gig in the first place, but so much of Ten's character seems to be "Hey, look at me - I'm being the Doctor." Whereas Edwardian teacher John Smith - despite the matching Edwardian attitudes - I actually liked and felt sorry for. I was so upset for him when he realised he was going to have to "die", and the scene at the end where Tennant transformed from John Smith to the Doctor in the space of one sentence was simply awesome. However, we're not talking about acting here, we're talking about shagging and marrying. No chance. So, cliff it is for Ten.

Shag: Simm!Master

(And let's be clear about which particular body I'm letting into my hypothetical bed. Not Delgado; not any of those other Masters I never saw. Just Simm, in his Master guise). Because funnily enough, although I find him very attractive in his other ~~parts~~ characters, I don't have the fierce urge to drag Sam Tyler under the duvet. Whereas batshit!Master was one of the hottest things I have ever seen. You just know that guy would be the most athletic bastard you'd ever had (and the two hearts would probably come in handy - you know, for him not getting worn out too quickly). And he'd probably be reasonably interested in making it a good experience because his ego would never allow a mere human woman to be able to say she'd had better. So, yeah. I'd shag the Master any time. ~~Or the Simm himself, if he was magically available.~~

Marry: Gene Hunt

To be honest, up against any other competition, I might have hesitated to marry Gene, because I'd be very happy to spend an awful lot of time just shagging him. (And I'd have to say I cannot begin to imagine what competition would cause me to cliff the guy). And of course there's all that business with getting pissed every night and sleeping in the office. But you can't marry the Master, just can't - it's simply the quickest way to insanity and/or a painful death. So that means marrying Gene.

The only question is, are we talking canon Gene or fanon Gene here? Because fanon Gene - well, I'd hate to come between Sam and Gene and their wonderful forever love. Well, OK, I would love to come. Between Gene and Sam. But that aside, I'm thinking canon!Gene here. And you know I don't mean A2A!Gene. Nope. LOM!Gene certainly was a dinosaur in many ways, but he's one hell of a lot more intelligent and thoughtful than the average man of that era. Believe me, I worked with enough of them. Gene has such respect for women; he is so prepared to treat them well; he totally accepts that his lot in life is to be strong and protective. I could go for that, absolutely. The only thing would be just that little bit of re-education that would show him that the best way to show respect for your missus (that would be me, don't forget), is to go home and ~~be masterful~~. ~~shag her brains out.~~ just BE THERE for God's sake. Yes.

So there you go. I'm putting up Ten for the highest bidder - I understand some people actually go for that dorky string-bean look.

In the meantime, Gene's mine, OK, and we'll all ~~shag~~ share the Master.